Whenever I go over to Sheridan Villa, the old people's home over on Truscott Road, to visit the residents there, there is an old hymn that they love to sing.  It’s called "What a friend we have in Jesus". 

I am sure many of you remember the words to this hymn.  It starts out, "What a friend we have in Jesus, all of our sins and griefs to bear! "

It also says "We should never be discouraged - take it to the Lord in prayer."  The song assures us that Jesus knows our every weakness, whether we are weak or heavy-laden, or encumbered with a load of care, or even if all earthly friends despise us and forsake us, He will take us in His arms and shield us, and we will find solace there. 

Jesus assures us in today's gospel that He has called us friends.  These are surely some of the most reassuring words in scripture.  Though Jesus was speaking to His disciples when He said these words, He is also speaking to all of us today, so many years later.  And it's good to know that Jesus is our friend!

How can we be so sure that Jesus means us to be his friends as well as the disciples who were his companions in those days? Well, Jesus says they are His friends because He has made known to them everything that He had heard from His Father.  Isn't this also true for us? We have a the Holy Gospels, and all the scriptures, and all the teachings of those who have been Jesus' friends through the years to make sure that all that Jesus learned from His Father has been made known to us as well.  And so we must also be counted amongst Jesus' friends.  As He said to the disciples, and He says to us today, He has chosen us. 

When we hear the words of that old hymn, it is clear to us what is expected from friendship.  He makes it even clearer to us in today's gospel, when He says no greater love exists than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends. 

Today we can ask ourselves, what do we expect from a friend? How do we define a friend? Why is it so important to have a friend or to be a friend?

Well to begin with, we do expect a friend to be someone who stands by us in times of trouble.  But I think also it's more than that.  A friend is someone that we share happy times with as well.  When something good happens to us, we expect a friend to be happy for us, not resentful.  When we have a secret to share, we expect a friend to be able to keep that secret with us, and it brings us closer together to know that there's something special that we both know.  A friend is someone we make a promise to, and someone who we expect to keep their promises to us.  We expect a friend to be a friend, even when we have done something foolish, or have to admit to them that we somehow messed up. 

The true definition of “loneliness” is not just being alone, it really means not having any friends.  Just being around people does not mean that we don't feel lonely. 

Many times I have spoken to a resident at Sheridan Villa and they have confided in me that they feel lonely.  And yet when I look around, they are surrounded by other people.  But somehow they have not really made friends of those people and so they feel alone.  The irony is that many of those around them are feeling the same way.  But it goes to show that it is difficult to make a friend, because a friend is more than simply someone who happens to be there beside us. 

As Jesus says in today's gospel, to be a friend to me you have to know me, and to know what is important to me, and what makes me who I am.  Then when you accept that and stay with me anyway, then you become my friend.  So Jesus says to His disciples that they are no longer servants, they are His friends, because they know Him and they know what is important to Him. 

Jesus shows us that He wants to be our friend because He tells us that He wants His joy to be in us, and our joy to be complete!

If we reflect for a few moments on friendship, and think about our friends, the ones who are closest to us, then we understand these comments of Jesus because we know that our friends do bring us joy. 

Certainly we expect a lot from our friends.  But we also know that when our friends disappoint us, it can hurt even more than the unkindness of a stranger. 

Imagine how you would feel if you just told your closest friend that you really liked a boy in your class and that you want to get to know him better and then as you walked down the hall in school you discovered that she was telling your secret to a whole group of people and laughing.  It would hurt a lot, and your humiliation would be even worse because your friend disappointed you. 

Imagine how you would feel if you had just shared your ideas for new business project with a friend at work, and then had them bring it up in a meeting with your boss as if it was their own idea? You would certainly feel betrayed, especially because it was your friend. 

Before or we begin to accuse our friends of being unfaithful to us, we should look at our own behavior.  What kind of friend have we been to those who count on us?

What kind of friends were the disciples to Jesus? Today's gospel comes from the discussion that Jesus was having with His disciples at the Last Supper.  They must have felt wonderful to know that Jesus counted them as friends.  And yet a few short hours later when Judas and the guards came for Jesus, they all ran away into the woods.  So Jesus was betrayed not only by Judas, but by all those who he had called friends just a short time before. 

As the old song says, we can certainly count on Jesus as being our very best friend, and yet we betray him every time we sin.  Jesus has shared with us all the things a friend can share, and has made the ultimate sacrifice for us in laying down His life for us, to guarantee the salvation that we don’t deserve.  We need to take some time this week to reflect on how we have betrayed his friendship and disappointed him.

But we especially need to reflect on how each of us can be a better friend.  Jesus also tells us today how to do this.  Keep His commandments, and love one another!  It is by reaching out to others and helping them in times of trouble that we behave as Jesus does, to carry on His work for Him here on earth just as you would help out a friend who was away from home for a while.  By laying down our own lives, not necessarily in bloody martyrdom, but in the everyday things we do and the sacrifices we make for others, going out to help when we’d rather stay in and watch Muchmusic, or keeping quiet when we’d like to share a juicy secret, or spending time with your family when you’ve been invited to go play golf.  It may seem like a sacrifice at first, but it feels so good in the end that you’ll feel you got more than you gave.

Finally, you can be a friend by sharing your blessings and your gifts.  Jesus has a gift to share with us today, the gift of His body in the Eucharist.  Share in His gift as a friend would and let it strengthen you against the time when you may be tempted to turn away.  Let it strengthen your friendship with Him to help you serve others.  Let it fill those words with true meaning the next time you sing “What a friend we have in Jesus!”