The story of today’s Gospel reminds me of the story of two boys who rented a boat and went out into Lake Ontario to do some fishing. The boys did very well for rookies and caught a number of fish. When they were returning the boat, one fellow said to the other, "I hope you marked down where we caught all those fish." And his friend said, "I sure did. I marked it on the side of boat right here where we took them in." After he thought about it, the other asked, "What happens if we can’t get the same boat when we come back?"

Early in the morning, people from the nearby villages would come down to the shore of the lake where the fishermen brought in their boats. There they could buy fish fresh right off the boats. On this particular morning, however, there were no fish to buy, for the fishermen had not caught any during the night. People who had come by just to buy fish soon found themselves drawn to a young, itinerant preacher. Spellbound by his message, the crowd begins to grow. People press ever closer to Jesus trying to catch his every word, so close that Jesus finds it ever more difficult to speak. So Jesus gets into a boat that belongs to Peter, one of the fishermen, and has Peter move the boat a little way from the shore. From the boat, Jesus now continues to speak to the crowds. We are not told how, or, even if, their lives had been changed. Presumably, they got want they wanted and then left.

But there was one person who had heard Jesus that day and his life was changed. In the boat with Jesus is Peter, one of the fishermen who had been out all night. Peter too had been listening to Jesus. After the villagers had gone, Jesus then asks Peter to move the boat out into deeper water and to lower his nets for a catch. Peter, of course, is annoyed that Jesus would ask him to do this. "We have worked hard all night long and have caught nothing at all," he tells Jesus. "But if you say so, I will lay out the nets."

The Gospel story is not so much a story about fishing. It is more a story about trust. Peter appeared to be reluctant at first to go out into deeper water and lay out the nets again. Night time was the time for fishing, and they had fished all night long and caught nothing. They had done their best. They still came up empty-handed. However, because it was Jesus who was asking him to go out again, Peter thought better of it. "If you say so, Lord, I will let down the nets." At the call of Jesus, Peter is willing to take the leap of faith, even at the risk of looking foolish in the eyes of the other fishermen. Peter had done it his way, without success. Only when Peter was prepared to do things in Jesus’ way and in Jesus’ time, and not his own, was he successful, indeed successful beyond his wildest dreams.

They were all astonished. Peter particularly feels overwhelmed by it all. Strong, powerful feelings of unworthiness, even sinfulness, begin to well up inside him as he stands before Jesus. Suddenly he throws himself at the feet of Jesus, and pleads with Jesus to go away from him, because he is a sinful man. Peter did not yet fully understand that Jesus had come precisely for those who are poor and weak and sinful. Jesus does not move away from Peter. And why should he, really? In catching Peter, Jesus had just netted himself a very large fish! Jesus had shown Peter that he could catch not only fish. He could catch people too! And Jesus says to Peter, "Don’t be afraid. From now on you will join me in catching people for the Kingdom of God." When they brought their boats to shore, Peter and the others left everything and followed Jesus.

Negative self-evaluations can hold us back from responding to the call of God. Because of such negativity we are not disposed to consider new options, or new possibilities. We just can’t picture ourselves doing what is being asked of ourselves, so we stand and watch from "the shore of life" rather than venturing out into the deep. In today’s second reading, we learn that the great St. Paul thought of himself as "the least of the Apostles, unfit even to be called an apostle." Now that is a quite shocking statement, if there ever was one. But nevertheless, fit or unfit, Christ called him to be an apostle. Paul did not refuse our Lord and went on to become one the greatest Apostles of Christ. Later he would comment on this experience: "By the grace of God, I am what I am."

We do not have to be without flaw or weakness to be of service to God. God sometimes permits us to experience our own weakness only to bring about in us a deeper awareness of our need for him. Weakness can be a grace if it brings us closer to God. When we accept our weakness, God can strengthen us. When we acknowledge our emptiness God can fill us. When we admit our poverty God can enrich us. Like the crowd that pressed close to Jesus in today’s Gospel, we too need to press close to Jesus, especially in those moments when we feel burdened by our own humanity with all its defects and limitations. As we do so, we will "experience God himself accomplishing in us the things we find impossible [Merton]."

For all our faults and foibles, dear friends, God is always willing to work with us right where we are. God’s call to serve is not a reward for holiness for the simple reason that holiness is not a human accomplishment or achievement. It is God who sanctifies us and makes us holy. Our role is to embrace the call of God with humility and trust, to see it as an opportunity to serve and grow. It is about coming forward and making ourselves available to God, offering our time, energy and love in the service of God and his Church. It is about leaving behind the security of the shore and stepping out into deeper waters. There is no need for us to worry about the results. God will produce the results.

Father Neil